My Why

My why is pretty big in my eyes. I'm overweight to the point of being classified as obese. Most of my family on my mom's side is overweight. Heart disease, cancer, and diabetes runs rampant in my family. The time is now for me to do something so I don't become another statistic.

I run from cameras. I hate mirrors. I'm not pleased with the person I see. I want to feel attractive. I hear all the time that it is about mindset and I honestly believe that. When you feel beautiful you radiate beauty to others. The thing is ... I'm just not happy how I am. I don't want to accept being fat. I don't want to settle for that. I want to know what it feels like to actually look good in my clothes and to feel comfortable. Oh to be able to cross my legs! Some people may think, what's the big deal in that, but if you can't do it because your legs are too big, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

I'm tired and overall don't feel very well most of the time. I feel like I never get enough sleep. I'm very irritable and moody. I hardly ever want to do anything. I fatigue easily when playing with the kids.

My husband has stuck by me, and he does his best to help me feel better about myself. He's one of the reasons I want so much to do this. How he sees me and how I see myself don't match. I want to see what he sees. There's so much I want to do and experience with him. I want to be the wife he deserves, but I really have a hard time. I know that's my own fault, and now is the time to do something about it.

My children are my heart, and they deserve a heathy and happy mommy. My moods and feelings radiate and affect my family. I want to be able to have the energy to play and run with them. I want to be around to see them grow up, get married, and start a family of their own.

It's time to change. I'm ready to do something about my situation, and there's no turning back now. I'm taking the necessary steps. I will lose weight. I will regain my health. I will improve my self-image. I have no doubt in my mind about that. For my family and, most importantly, for myself because I DESERVE IT!